I have learnt a very important lesson today. I want to share it with you, and hope that you find it as useful as I do. If not now, then in the future.
How many of you have disagreed with another person? If you know you are right and the other wrong, would you point it out? Must you? Is it necessary to argue just so that you can prove that you are right?
I argue a lot, I have come to realise. Yes some of you (you know who you are) might have been stating that fact, but the impact is always bigger when one discovers that though reflection and self-realization.
In conjunction with one of my 2012 “wants” (read more), I am reading a book called “How to Win Friends and Influence People” by Dale Carnegie. He is simply brilliant.
There is only one way to get the best of an argument- and that is to avoid it.
You can’t win an argument. You can’t because if you lose it, you lose it. And if you win it, you lose it. Why? Suppose you triumph over the other man and shoot his argument full of holes and prove that he is non compos mentis (not a sound mind, in case you’re wondering). Then what? You will feel fine. But you have made him feel inferior. You have hurt his pride. He will resent your triumph.
A man convinced against his will, is of the same opinion still.
If your temper is aroused and you tell em a thing or two, you will have a fine time unloading your feelings. But what about the other person? Will he share your pleasure? Will your belligerent (hostile/aggressive) tone, your hostile attitude make it easy for him to agree with you?
I told you he is brilliant!
Perhaps I feel so strongly because I am guilty of this. And it has cost me my relationship. It’s reassuring though to know that life goes the way you steer it. Yes, I might be argumentative but I want to change. I will definitely not make the same mistake in my next relationship, or in life for that matter.
They say it’s not how nice you can be when things are going right. Everyone can be nice. The test is when things are not going your way. How you react when the going gets tough determines if you are a big person or a little person.
So I have learned today. I want to improve myself, be a better person.
What about you? As my teammates would say, Everyday’s a school day 😉