Category Archives: Relationships

Thank you, 2013!

A friend of mine, very recently, asked me to create an entry for 2013.. “Why not?” he said. “If this year is any good at all, you should write it all down.” (forgot the exact words, this was my impression of our conversation). He is also the same person whom encouraged me to update my blog, hence the one-off post in November 2012. I have, in truth, forgotten about this blog. Well, I guess it deserves at least an entry this year.

2013 has been a great year for me! It has not been smooth sailing, as you will read later, but it’s as good as it gets. Nothing I would change at all.

January 2013

I always tell people that I don’t regret coming back to Msia, and I still don’t. The most impressionable memory this month is work related. My colleagues and I did well enough in our pseudo portfolios and were given the opportunity to manage our own funds! Yay! I remember feeling unsure (was I up for this?) yet excited (hell yeah I can do it!). The journey started off rocky, and while I’m sure it wasn’t that bad all the time, all I will remember is feeling the pressure. The funds were not doing well; some counters did not move, some large positions we had fell a hell lot in the new year: it was pretty intense, getting pressure from the top and whatnots. Maybe most of it was also self inflicted, for I had expected to do at least okay at first.

My boss was extremely reassuring, and that helped a lot. “If you as an inexperienced young ciku can do so well, then other more experienced fund managers would have lost their jobs already.” So, slowly and patiently, I started learning about more companies, reading more charts and then reshuffle my portfolio accordingly. By March, our funds were in a better shape, thank goodness!

May 2013

I joined my first fitness club, Celebrity Fitness! My girlfriend’s bf found a better job in Spore so I inherited his all-club pass at an awesomely low corporate rate. I am now a gym junkie who enjoys the BodyPump and BodyCombat combo. Exercising is part of my lifestyle now, and I love the mental and physical effects it brings!

June 2013

I was pretty lifeless studying for my CFA Level 2 in first half of the year. What made studying bearable (and a success) was my study partner! The more I discussed things with him, the more I dont know. I would say that it was the perfect partnership though: me for instilling discipline (or so he says) and him for being a smartass. Hours and hours spent learning and studying the CFA materials were no fun. We studied after work, studied during the weekends, studied during public holidays.. But I believe it will all be worth it in the end.

July 2013

My sister is finally graduating! My lil sis is all grown up 🙂 We had organised a family trip to London and Iceland. Going back to London brought back some memories, but I am surprised that I don’t miss it one bit! Had a good time meeting friends and ex-colleagues though. Iceland was beautiful! Had a major heated argument (once-in-5-years type) with my mom post the trip, but we sorted things out quickly. I love you mummy!

August 2013

Mid year was a time of turmoil for me. Relationship issues are the culprit this time. I was so caught up with the whole thing that I didn’t even realised how much it bothered me until I look back and reflect. I have never felt so torn and confused before.

Would I want to go back and replay? No, because of the people I hurt. But I truly believe that things do happen for a reason.

September 2013

I turn 25 this year! Celebrated my birthday with family, then with friends at Heli Lounge Pad.. and went for an amazing birthday trip to a beach at Kuantan. I don’t think I could have asked for anything more, really!

After being in a complicated status for a while, WY and I became an official couple. This was a milestone, considering we have been on and off for a while. I always say, “It’s either we are truly in love, or we are plain stupid because we never learn.”

December 2013

The major, major thing for the past month is having my bf back in Malaysia. From college (2007) till now (2013), we have never been in the same country. The fact that he decided to come back for these 2 months means a lot to me. I realised how much he loves me, in his own way and from all the things he does. I also realised he is a gem to me, as much as I am a gem to him. We are as similar as we are different. Ironically, we also just had a minor disagreement today which is why I can’t sleep which is also the sudden inspiration for this blog post.


Well, this pretty much sums up my year in 2013. Exciting? I wish. I have only gone clubbing once or twice this year.

Another inspiration for me writing this post is you!! If you are bothered enough to read this, you are probably involved enough in my life. Thank you so much for being part of my life this year, and I certainly hope we will continue to chat/text/update/meet each other in the future.

A few people deserve special mention, some will remain anonymous but you know who you are 🙂 This is something that is always in my heart yet are words that hardly leaves my mouth:

  • Thank you, Daddy and Mummy for bringing me up, for loving me and for teaching me wrong from right. If you take a while to think about it, it might be shocking to realise that your daughter is already 25! Thank you for your attention, care and advice when I needed them most. I love you both so much.
  • Thank you Elaine for being the only sister I wish to have. I am so proud of what you have achieved this far, keep it up! I truly miss having you around, it’s never really the same being in different countries ya? Keep us updated with your life and post more pictures. Love you!
  • Thank you Bro for your continuous support and wisdom. You have been through the ups and down with me, being my friend as well as my guide. You have been a blessing, I will go as far to say that!
  • Thank you to my girlfriends (Msia and London) for the happy times we shared. There is never an awkward time to take pictures, nor do we need a real reason to dress up! Thank you for listening to my problems and offering solutions. It’s difficult to find someone whom you really trust nowadays, and I’m glad I found a friend in you!
  • Thank you to my Communicator buddy. You made work way more interesting than it already is, and before you start taking any credit, I’m sure the feeling is mutual lol. It’s funny how friendship can be reconnected. Thank you for always being there when I needed to talk. The only way I can compensate by finding you a chick!
  • Thank you to the one who showed me how thoughtful and sensitive a person can be. I believe that your partner will be super lucky to have you!

And last but not least,

  • Thank you to my dear boyfriend who stuck it through thick and thin with me. You are my pillar of strength and confidence. I believe we complement each other well, as you do. After years of knowing and being with each other, it’s like we’re meant to be.

Enough with all the sappy stuff. Interesting fact: According to the WordPress stats, my site has about 11k views! Wooh! Top searches were “Giant rabbit”/”German rabbit” in relation to a post I wrote in 2012. LoooooL!

Have a good New Years everyone! 🙂



Happy Father’s Day

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I love my daddy very much. Hence I cooked him a 3-course meal with love and got him 5 pink roses for Father’s Day 🙂 Sis got him a personalized iPhone cover.

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Oh, the irony!

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I Love You Mummy

To my mother:

Though I only declare my love once a year,
how deep it runs you should be clear;
Every time you need me near,
I promise to be there for you, don’t fear.

They say that being a mother
is not for the faint hearted;
No request from your child is a bother
regardless of how far away we have parted.

You keep your little ones close and tight,
yet you let go when the time is right;
And even though we are no longer little,
you make sure that we don’t do anything irrational.

You are the anchor in my life:
I’m not sure what I’ll do,
without you gently steering me though
the plentiful crossroads in life.

Thank you mummy for being an awesome mother,
with all your tender loving care;
Every day I strive to be better,
So that I too can give what you unselfishly share.

Much love,
Your daughter


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Far Away

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It Rains When You’re Here, and It Rains When You’re Gone

Take A Moment To…


We are all busy people. Whether we are actually (really) busy is one thing, because we could still be busy procrastinating, or busy sleeping.

More often that not, we dash through life without ever thinking about the journey. In the morning, to maximise my sleeping time, I wake up just in time, then brisk walk to work (now I even try fit in some FT from my phone on the way), workworkwork, then brisk walk to back home. For a Londoner, you have a destination in mind and the aim is to get there asap. You have to get the next tube/bus, if not you’ll get impatient. 3 mins for the next train is ages in tube-time, 7 mins is almost a century away! When you walk, you scurry to your location B, because you left location A with barely enough time. No detours, no distractions allowed.

But today, I looked up. I took this photo at Blackfriars’ bridge which I cross everyday, so often that I don’t appreciate the view as much as I should. I stopped in the middle of the bridge and felt the wind against my face, it was blowing strongly and yet was somewhat calming at the same time.

I continued walking, but at a much slower pace. It’s been a while since I’ve noticed how beautiful London is. How beautiful the trees look, even when bare of leaves. How magnificent the Victorian buildings are. How the birds’ chirping lift my soul. How all the people are laughing and enjoying their pint. I passed by London Eye and thought, “The shade of blue which lights up the Eye is just perfect”.

I guess my point is, in the midst of our daily life, we have to remember to live it. See it, feel it, hear it, touch it, taste it- while you still can.

On another note, in addition to Maddi Jane having great vocals, I’d like to share this song because it describes exactly what I’m feeling now.

If this was a movie you’d be here by now.

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A Bit

there’s still a little bit of your song,
in my ear,
there’s still a little bit of your words,
i long to hear,
there’s still a little bit of
your taste in my mouth,
there’s still a little bit of you
laced with my doubt,
its still a little hard to say,
whats going on.













So true!

And The Love Is Gone

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The First Cut Is The Deepest

Breaking up is tough. The emotional roller coaster that one goes through is just.. unbearable. Feeling random pangs of sadness in the middle of the day, or when I the things he gave me, or seeing some clothes he left behind in my cupboard. Even the alert sounds from Messenger and Skype makes my heart shift. I still wait, waking up early in the morning and staying up at night.

Contradiction at it’s best. Why do I bring this to myself?

First, you wonder if the right decision was made. What if I had read Carnegie’s book earlier- I could have been more understanding or perhaps approached things in a different (read:better) manner. Would that change the dynamics of the relationship, would things have worked out then?

Secondly, if this is it (ie the end), then what did the past 42523 months together meant?  Everything experienced together will be but good memories, but what good are memories if only stubbornness and pride are keeping them as such? Suddenly all the things that used to annoy me didn’t matter anymore, and you wonder what was the fuss about.

Thirdly, when all else fails, you wonder if you will ever be friends with your ex? Totally cutting down the ties sounds harsh, but then again what’s the point of keeping in contact?

I know I need to get a grip, but I just can’t help but succumb into these moments of weakness, sometimes.

Some really helpful quotes from friends which has been helping me through difficult times like this:

  • Once you have made a decision, never look back.
  • If you need to change who you are or make too many compromises in a relationship, then you’ll never be happy anyway.
  • You just have to ride through the wave, it gets better after a while.

I will still believe. Time will tell. Life is too short to be sad. Appreciate what is at hand.

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